so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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