Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
