found the other keg... it's in the tree
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She's the barista slut.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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