is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
