69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
