last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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