She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just gift wrapped bread.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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