Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
