You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
