When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
