I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
