So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
