Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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