Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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