I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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