There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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