totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
