I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
