U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize