on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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