i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
