have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
