No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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