apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
