Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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