areolas are like halos for boobs.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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