If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
