remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
