VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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