1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
