I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
