bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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