It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
