I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
