Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
