Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I CAN MOONWALK!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
