i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
