Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
