i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Your cock deserves a montage
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
