Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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