walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize