The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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