I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
