we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
