so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
