Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Your penis caused this!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
