Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
