Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
