I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize