somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
