My hair reeks of homosexuality.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
