your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize