Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
