Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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