how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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