He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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