What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
