had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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